How do I choose a word to best describe this past year? Well, maybe there isn’t just one, but I can say, I have felt my humanity. I have felt it so much this year and even when I consider how many new, strange and difficult things we’ve endured, I am humbled and I am grateful. I’m grateful to be a part of the beautiful creation that are humans.
As I think back over this past 12 months, there are so many occurrences, changes, emotions, connections, isolations, heart aches, stressors, celebrations, changing expectations and tragedies.
From forest fires to politics, from parents becoming teachers to living through the impacts of a pandemic. From new and amazing road trips and spending quality time with family to social injustice. This year ends with much weight.
For many, there has been great loss. Some have lost life, some have lost loved ones, others their financial security, or maybe even a home. Some have lost their dignity, others their mental stability. Some have lost themselves.
What strikes me though, is how all of us humans, no matter where we live or what we look like, we have all carried weight this year and can relate in some way to one another. And like any year, we live with the balance of beautiful moments and difficult or tragic ones.
Depending on the lens I choose, I feel this balance and the weight differently. Sometimes, I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for my life and the blessings I have. A loving family, good health, a beautiful comfortable home, food whenever I’m hungry.
Other times, I can only see what I’m up against. I feel the heat or tightness in my chest when I am overwhelmed with the isolation that keeps us in our homes and away from those we love.
And then there are moments of heart break. My heart breaks for those struggling with mental health instabilities and the loneliness they face. It breaks, when I hear of the loss of a loved one or separation of family members. My heart breaks for the layers of grief with not just losing a loved one, but losing a loved one during a pandemic.
This virus has stolen parts of our humanity, but it also has shown the kindness and love of family, friends and strangers.
In a year where there are so many reasons not to be at our best, when stressors are high and expectations must be held with a loose hand, I choose grace. When grace is shared, we all benefit.
I see grace as offering something beautiful to someone who hasn’t earned it or doesn’t deserve it. This offering could be kindness, patience, forgiveness, generosity, assuming the best of someone’s intentions, or providing more when society or culture says less.
As we leave this 2020 year behind, I enter into 2021 with grace. Grace for myself, grace for my children and husband. Grace for family, friends, neighbors and strangers. If I lead with grace, I hold my connection with humanity and have a better chance at being a better me.